It’s the fourteenth of February and you want to impress your lady friend with your sense of romance. I ask that you learn from my mistakes in the past and do not bring your girl to any of the following or risk getting dumped…Fast!
1 – Any “Spa” located in an industrial park:
Like a complete idiot I made the mistake of treating my Valentine’s Day date to a spa day at a spa located by the airport. I read online how this place offers a “relaxing” message 24 hours a day. When my girl showed up at this place and noticed the windows were blacked out and the entrance was in the back she called me up fuming mad and broke up with me a week later. Ah well I guess that is what I get for picking up a girl on “MySpace”.
2 – Oceans:
You know I love me some Oceans (shout out my girls serving up catering orders on Chinese New Year’s! Thanks for the extra spring rolls baby). Anyways, this place just isn’t cut out for a Valentine’s Day date. No matter how much you and your girl enjoy 2.99$ dim sum eating discount dumplings in a grocery store just won’t get her to smooch you like a mule eating an apple!
3 – Any place you may run into your Ex.
My ex mum and myself are cool. In fact she owns a Turkish restaurant with the best grub this side of Istanbul. Anyways, a couple years back I dragged my girl to this spot to grab some take away before going to my crib for a romantic dinner when my ex. Then all of a sudden from behind the counter “Hey Randy, Valentine’s Day eh … Going to take this one to the spa by the airport as well?” Needless to say I had some explaining to do. Word to the wise, stay out of a 30 km radius of any ex’s on Valentine’s Day.
4 – The food court at any mall, anywhere:
Unless you are 16 years old and and trying your hardest to get to second base on a date budget of 15$ (including bus fare) stay the hell out of any food court. I know you think the allure of KFC on fine china plates at square one will seal the deal for you, but it won’t. May as well pick your date up on a hover board while smoking a vaporizer pen, because you will have the same success on your date… None.
5 – Any Crossfit Gym:
Crossfitters, like Vegetarian’s that eat chicken and fish are the most annoying people on earth. The fact that they have to profess to everyone their healthy lifestyle is very, very agitating. But crossfitter can be funny though. Just look at the video: As such, no matter how much you want to impress your Valentine’s Day date with your new “boxjump , burpie combo” thinks twice before dragging them there on Valentine’s Day.